If Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner Were Black: Looney Tunes?

I just watched a Rachel Maddow clip online and...what a curious time in the United States of America: the Chairman of the Republican National Convention (Michael Steele) is black. We have indeed overcome, but is there such a thing as far having gone too far in a world where the President of the United States--and his staunchest political enemy--share a cultural commonality? Is that what they would call irony--or would it be considered some form of self-sabotage? (Am I going to regret pointing this out later?)

Cintra Wilson's "Critical Shopper" Gets a Verbal Spanking from the Times

The Cintra Wilson backlash continues. New York Times Public Editor Clark Hoyt wrote an opinion piece in Saturday's issue that criticizes the inflammatory article and the media/blogging/reader stir it caused. I went to Wilson's blog, where a post, dated Monday, August 17 warns readers that the website will no longer accept further comments via email or posting related to said controversy. (She is, however, keeping up the ones that were already posted.)

No word yet whether the article was her last for the Times, whether JC Penney will be pulling their ads, or of the long-term impact any of this will have on Wilson's career. Stay tuned.

Notes from Insomnia: August 23, 2009--4:41 AM (EST)

An old friend of mine posted the following question on Facebook:
"Why are kids obsessed with whoopie cushions--after three or four times, how can that be funny any more"

To which I replied:
Methinks repetition is some form of positive reinforcement for kids. We do the same thing as adults; we just space it out over longer spans of time. How often do we tell a story of an incident that happened long ago but still has the power to keep us in stitches?

I'd never thought about it before, but good memories are our whoopie cushions. But I wonder: Does that make the less-happy ones scabs we keep picking at?

Top 8 Songs: Week Ending August 22, 2008

1. "You Turn Me On, I'm a Radio," Joni Mitchell (from For the Roses)
2. "Ariel," Diane Birch (from Bible Belt)
3. "Lesson in Survival," Joni Mitchell (from For the Roses)
4. "Woman of Heart and Mind," Joni Mitchell (from For the Roses)
5. "Valentino," Diane Birch (from Bible Belt)
6. "Hymn#101," Joe Pug (from Nation of Heat EP)
7. "It Don't Move Me," Peter Bjorn and John (from Living Thing)
8. "Bang," Rye Rye & M.I.A. (Digital Single)

On Not Doing It for the Kids

I read an interesting article in Maclean's (thanks, Twanna!) on the merits of not having children and the stigma that couples who decide not to have kids face. Personally, I'm happy for my friends who wanted to be and are parents--and am equally proud of my friends who've decided not to. There is absolutely no good reason to cave to the insane pressures of others to have a kid if you don't want to. The last thing this planet needs are more kids whose parents resent having had them. (For the record: My parents decided to wait a year before starting a family--and received a barrage of guilt tripping for it from both sides, the most ludicrous of which being, "Don't you want to give your husband a baby?") Personally, I think people who opt not to have children should get a tax credit for population control.

And what about the nation of children needing homes and proper parents? I dig the idea of adopting kids from other countries, but yo--we've got kids here needing help as well! "The system" can be blamed into eternity, but unless people demand real change, it's going to remain as difficult to adopt as it already is. I believe a woman's right to choose (whether to have a child or not) falls under "inalienable," so when I hear about these right-to-life people staging protests, my question is, "How many kids have you adopted?" It's all fine and well to tout the value of life, but it seems to me the movement should be more comprehensive. Okay, so you've made sure another child is born, but what are you doing to ensure the quality of that life?

I'm also disgusted with the way the culture treats its children. It's lovely to talk a good game about education and child care, but I see so little action on both fronts. Every official running for election touts the need for education--which this country needs to get up to snuff lest it fall behind the rest of the world. How can we realistically expect to sustain a country full of poorly educated people? I understand that the solutions aren't simple, but I also understand that that isn't a good enough reason not to get in there and fix it. What kind of world are we creating for today's and tomorrow's children?

Having children was a dream of mine. Somewhere along the way I realized that, for me, it made more sense to adopt one, given the plethora we have. Then I worried about the difficulty that being gay might place on said dream. My hopes were restored during a trip to New York's annual gay expo, where the Department of Social Services had a booth. When I hit 30, though, I reexamined the desire--which pitted the type of parent I wanted to be against the demands of my creative life and aspirations. I'm not one of those people who can do both, so I surrendered the former. And while the decision has come with its share of rueful days, I take solace in the surrogate nieces and nephews my friends and cousins have seen fit to bless me with and am pleased to be contributing to the quality of their lives. And no, I don't think it gives me any higher moral ground than the right-to-lifers; it just makes me a happier, less-harried human being who will defend the right not to have children until the day he...dies.

The Clone Zone: Diane Birch/Marie Osmond

Is it just me, or does Diane Birch look like the second coming of Marie Osmond?

Ms. Birch

Ms. Osmond

Top 8 Songs: Week Ending August 15, 2009

1. "Choo Choo," Diane Birch (from Bible Belt)
2. "Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire," Joni Mitchell (from For the Roses)
3. "Vaya Con Dios," Les Paul and Mary Ford (from Vaya Con Dios)
4. "Punches," Collin Herring (from Past Life Crashing)
5. "50 Lashes," Floating Action (from Floating Action)
6. "Woman of Heart and Mind," Joni Mitchell (from For the Roses)
7. "I Am Not A Robot," Marina and the Diamonds (from The Crown Jewels EP)
8. "Brazil," Les Paul and Mary Ford (from Best Of The Capitol Masters - 90th Birthday Edition)

RIP: Les Paul

Modern music as we know it would be far less enthralling without Les Paul, musician, recording innovator, and pioneer of what has come to be known as the electric guitar. The whole notion of multitrack recording was Paul's brainchild, the result of his home-recording experiments. He died of complications from pneumonia at White Plains Hospital in White Plains, New York. He was 94.

Cintra Wilson's "Critical Shopper": Too Critical?

Cintra Wilson's recent entry to her New York Times "Critical Shopper" column seems to have set the World Wide Fashion Web afire. I've been a fan of hers since her Salon.com days and have found her work to be clever, stylish, and spot-on. Consequently, I was thrown by what read as a classist and body-fascist piece.

I like to think of myself as the type of guy that is willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt before lunging fangs first into their hide (though I knew a few people would who disagree). Such has not been the case with the blogosphere. Wilson's piece has drawn the ire/mockery of New York Magazine, the Houston Press, the Consumerist, and Jezebel, among others.

Having looked at it again, her issue seemed to have more to do with the kowtowing of major fashion houses to the mass market and the dilution of inviduality in fashion--and less with its plus sizing. The opening of the JC Penney store in Midtown was emblematic of said forms of fashion condescension and identity dilution. Unfortunately, the cracks about the sizing outshone what I felt were her commentary's true aims.

She posted a backhanded apology via her blog (at 6:01 p.m.), which was later replaced (at 6:51 p.m.). That, too, has since been replaced (at 8:23 p.m.). Here's hoping it helps, though I fear the damage may have already been done. Only time will tell.

Notes from Insomnia: August 12, 2009--3:27 AM (EST)

If only these people had been in the movie...I would have gone to the theater instead of boycotting it outright.

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

RIP: Eunice Kennedy Shriver

Many things have been said about the Kennedy family, but it should also be remembered that scandals aside, they were committed to the notion of public service. And so it was with Eunice Kennedy Shriver, founder of the Special Olympics--a cause that has promoted hope, health, and higher self-esteem for a population once relegated to society's margins. She died in Cape Cod Hospital in Hyannis, Massachusetts. She was 88.

Screwed in Translation: Secretary of State Clinton testy over question

I get that there was a breakdown in translation, but I would've responded similarly. I'm sure she's tired of people asking her about her husband; she is, after all, the Secretary of State.

And while I'm glad he was able to rescue the reporters, the deed also undermines her power--something I'm sure she's also pissed about.

Top 8 Songs: Week Ending August 8, 2009

1. "Choo Choo," Diane Birch (from Bible Belt)
2. "Lighthouse," James Taylor (from Gorilla)
3. "I Am Not A Robot," Marina and the Diamonds (from The Crown Jewels EP)
4. "Company Man," James Taylor (from Flag)
5. "Punches," Collin Herring (from Past Life Crashing)
6. "La Maison," Gabin (from Gabin)
7. "Banquet," Joni Mitchell (from For the Roses)
8. "Strike A Match," Cassandra Wilson (from Thunderbird)

Queer Fight Club

I've heard the phrase "kick start" before, but never have I seen it manifest itself in so literal a way. Last night, which marked the start of LGBT Pride Weekend here in Savannah, was a crazy one at Blaine's Back Door Bar:

I was convinced there was something in the water--or rather, the alcohol. Over the course of the evening, there had been three near-brawls in the bar--the last one ending with the words, "I'm not your average faggot--I'm the type of redneck who'll go to his car and get his gun to shoot you right in the face!"

Just when I thought the worst was over, a lesbian (referred to as "Agitator") walked in with her date and a gay friend with bad teeth from his crack-addict days. Yes, it sounds like the beginning of a joke, but the punchline wasn't as funny as you'd think. She was already liquored up when she walked in, and the signs of strain between her and the date were visible.

A few minutes later, the agitator and her GBF (gay best friend) stormed to the entrance, yelling "I'm tired of that bitch!" As they did, I warned them that leaving would terminate their $10 beer bust/$15 well drinks from 10–2 a.m. privileges. (I should mention that I'm the door man.) So they went outside for two minutes to smoke and blow off steam.

Those two minutes turned into 45, during which the date looked for them frantically (her keys were in the agitator's truck; this is the South, after all). When Agitator returned with crack-teeth, I told them they had to pay again. She tried to argue they had been gone for two minutes, to which I countered "two minutes in drunk time." When that failed, she tried to charm me using the black card (we both were/are). When that failed, she went back to the two-minute plea--which, because she was drunk, went on for another five minutes. Her GBF talked her down and they went back in, knowing they would have to pay. The date avoided Agitator and managed to get the GBF to retrieve her keys from the truck.

At three o'clock, I locked the door and was heading toward the bar when I heard a knock at the door. It was Agitator, who'd forgotten her credit card at the bar. I shrugged and let her in.

When shown her tab for two beer and two liquor specials, she claimed she'd only ordered one drink. The bartender/manager (a transvestite) explained that she'd left and knowingly came back to order another round; the agitator refused to pay. A shouting match ensued, and the police were called. I was instructed to block the front door and my coworker, an out-of-drag queen went to block the front. The shouting continued, with the agitator throwing around antigay slurs (from a lesbian; hello, hypocrisy!) at the bartender/manager and the owner (and namesake of the bar). When that failed, she rushed toward the rear entrance--at which point the out-of-drag queen yelled, "HELP!"

I alerted the bartender, who joined me in racing toward the exit, where Agitator had knocked the latch off the door and was trying to escape. The out-of-drag queen tried to stop her and was rewarded with a kick in the face, to which she replied "Oh, Hell NO!" Knowing she (OODQ) was going to beat the life out of her, I grabbed her while the bartender grabbed the agitator, who knocked her to the floor. The owner joined the scuffle and was rewarded with a blow to the arm and neck.

Agitator kicked through the other lock on the door, with the owner and bartender scrambling to hold her. I let the OODQ go, and grabbed her from behind and locked her arms; the manager got her legs, and we tried to bring her back into the bar while trying to keep the OODQ from her. The owner placed her in a chokehold, and we tried to get her back inside. But Agitator, whom we later learned, was in the army, held onto the rail and wouldn't let go.

Thankfully, the police arrived. I can only imagine how strange a picture we made: a transvestite, an out-of-drag queen, and two gay guys all clinging on to a lesbian, who was clinging on to a handicap-ramp rail. We released Agitator to the police, who took our stories for a report. (I should mention one of the officers was extremely hunky; I almost wanted to commit a crime myself.)

The end of the story was anticlimactic: She was ordered to pay her $38 tab (yes, all of that for $38), to stay away from the bar, and no charges were pressed... Many a joke has been made about the action at Blaine's Back Door Bar ("comedy gold" as my friend would say), but this took it up, down, every which way and loose. Not quite the start I'd envisioned for Pride Weekend, but what can you do.

Later, as I was walking my dog, Lizzy, around Forsyth Park, I looked up at the moon--it was full, just like Agitator had been--and it all began to make sense. Or as much sense as a five-way fracas can. So much for "unity in the community."

CNN Anchor Rick Sanchez Smacks Down Health Care CEO Funding Anti-Reform Effort

Instead of covering his ass, Rick Scott should have covered his mouth--which he just got smacked in.
You GO, Rick Sanchez!

RIP: John Hughes

Odd that it should take a Brit to render the complexities of the American experience. Yet filmmaker and icon John Hughes did--and did so with aplomb. Hughes died of a heart attack while walking in Manhattan. He was 59.

RIP: Naomi Sims

Before there was Naomi Campbell or Ms. Tyra('d) Banks, there was Naomi Sims, who passed away yesterday from cancer. She was 61.

Chris Rock's "Good Hair"

I can't wait for Chris Rock's upcoming movie, "Good Hair," to be released. October can not come soon enough!

Top 8 Songs: Week Ending August 1, 2009

1. "Company Man," James Taylor (from Flag)
2. "Sleep Come Free Me," James Taylor (from Flag)
3. "I Am Not A Robot," Marina and the Diamonds (from The Crown Jewels EP)
4. "Are You Alright?," Lucinda Williams (from West)
5. "Sky and Sea (Blue in Green)," Cassandra Wilson (from Traveling Miles)
6. "PMS," Mary J. Blige (from No More Drama)
7. "50 Lashes," Floating Action (from Floating Action)
8. "If There's A God on My Side," Rosanne Cash (from The Wheel)