Adventures of an Ambivalent Gym Queen, Dispatch #103108

Gym Queen's Log, Workout Date 103108: The aches, pains, stiffness continue, and so does my workout routine. In fact, I even made some progress: the 15-15 EM session has now become a 25-25. With the 5 minute cool downs, that brings me to a full hour of treading my troubles away. (Ba-doom-boom-ska!) My shoulders might be screwed, but the legs are a-movin'!

Going for the Thighs-Man Trophy. Those drops above my right toe: ho sweat.

The ho sweat continues, but so does the shower and shvitz. I know it sounds like a Halloween story, but I met a doctor/Y-member who looked a little like Jesus. Nice guy; made me wish I remembered his real name. We talked about his med-school years and my aches and pains--which, he hinted, might be the result of arthritis. Way to celebrate a midlife crisis, I know, but I'm predisposed to make unusual choices. And, really, if you can't talk to Christ--even a makeshift one--who can you talk to?

The conversation made me wonder how permanent this discomfort may be--especially with the two-year anniversary of the accident less than a week away. Of course, I'd been warned about limitations--nerve damage, loss of strength, range of motion--but had been doing comparatively well before the seasonal shift that I thought I'd beaten the odds. Joke's on me...for now.

Just as I was neck deep in revelation, I ran into a mature member whose nudity made me preemptively wonder about scrotum reduction. And just like that, the stress was gone. Nothing like a low-slung scrotum to help pull your head out of your ass. As my friend Kimberlee would say, "...and scene!"