Adventures of an Ambivalent Gym Queen, Dispatch #102108

Gym Queen's Log, Workout Date 102108: In an effort to ensure no repeat shower sandal scandals, I caved in and signed up for a permanent locker--as permanent as a rental can be. Though it leaves me lighter in the wallet ($11.50/month), it also leaves me lighter in the backpack, which is nice.

Attempted to take the circuit room by storm and, with the exception of waiting a few minutes to use a few machines, I did. Saw what looked like a dance class through the window into the gym, but it turned out to be a step class. The students' clockwise rotation and arabesque lunges looked like a modern dance rehearsal.

Ran into a marginal catastrophe upstairs; all of the elliptical machines were being used. Oblivious yutz that I am, it never occurred to me that such a thing would ever happen. My mind-bending powers eventually won out: a fellow member finished his session. I hopped on and tried to get it going on to no avail. My legs were too tired from the squat thrusts I'd done downstairs. That, in concert with my realization that I hadn't eaten all day, found me doing the unthinkable: I gave up on the machine after five minutes.

Got on the stationary bicycle instead. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed cycling until I churned through eight miles of virtual hills in 26 minutes, burning a total of 256 calories. And just like that, EM and I moved from hot-and-heavy steadies to an open relationship that leaves me free to see other cardio machines. Though it makes me a fickle prick, it also makes for a better workout in the long run. We'll still get together--just on noncircuit days, is all.

The home-wrecking culprit: squat thrusts.