Adventures of an Ambivalent Gym Queen, Dispatch #091808

Gym Queen's Log, Workout Date 091808: Progress, lameness, and shame. I thought skipping the usual make-out session with EM would make for a stronger pool performance. Turns out I was wrong. Pulled the usual wheezefest after the first half-lap. Oh, the lameness! It was then I realized the emergency Cliff Bar I ate before stepping into the locker room was a bad idea--regardless how weak I was from hunger. Got the breathing back to normal and struggled back to the shallow end, embarrassed.

Asked the woman I shared the (slow) lane with how she managed the breathing thing. Her response: "Practice." She explained that it takes a while to get it together, and then asked how long I'd been at it. Her response: laughter. "Yeah--it takes a little longer than that. You're doing really well, though." I was then hipped to the abundance of how-to videos on the Internet. "See--there's more to do on the Web than the usual stuff," she laughed, alluding to porn...I think.

How to Do Breathing Drills for Freestyle Swimming
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Also learned that stopping at the wall was actually a bad thing--that it slows the heart rate needed to maintain a strong pace. It all clicked when she compared it with jogging/running. So I tried it--and it kind of worked. My chest was still tight, and I could hear myself gasping for air, but it definitely beat waiting to catch my breath. At some point, I'm going to have to learn how to do the flip thing the competitive swimmers do, but...one stroke--and breath--at a time.

Struggled for another lap, then threw in the swim cap and goggles--which, I swear, were cutting off the blood flow to the cabeza--and headed for an S&S (shower and shvitz). Twas a measly three laps, but I did learn a lot, so the session wasn't a waste--at all. Still, my neck hurts. Baba's going to have to bust out the 'benzaprine.